HATE

I HONESTLY thought that hating any member of your family was impossible, but apparently it is.

I used to take ballet classes and a a girl there said that she hated her sister and her sister hated her. And I said that you can't hate family. And ever since then I was trying to prove to myself that it IS impossible.

But I guess it ISN'T.

I hate my stupid jerk-of-a-brother

I hate my stupid brat-of-a-sister

My parents make it SO obvious that I am their least favorite. It's SO obvious I want to cry.

My sister got a real laptop WAY earlier than I did.

I say shut up to my sister, he says "hey!" to me, but when she says shut up to me, he STILL says "hey!" to me!

I could go on and on with that. I could dedicate a whole post to it.

My parents also let her walk to the library ALONE YEARS before I could. When I was her age, I had to walk to the library WITH my sister.

God! I just hate their obvious favoritism! It is freaking KILLING me!

I'm wondering whether i should be laughing at that because I've seriously thought about killing myself. I've
thought about it so often, I don't even know when it first started, or what makes me think of it. Practically everything that has to do with my life.

I'm usually happy when I avoid thinking about my crappy life. When I do, I just have a mental breakdown.

It just seems to me that they hate me.

Sure, they buy food and occasionally fun stuff for my birthday or whatever, but I don't think they actually care.

I wonder if I'm bi-polar.

I began this post, really angry, and now, at the end, I'm just sad, and kind of depressed.

I don't even know anymore.

It's not like they would bother paying for anything to make me feel any better.