Seriously?

Okay, so maybe I haven't told my family about my problems...

Okay, I HAVEN'T. But I'm trying to find the right time to tell them....or at least my mom about it.

But I have been sick for the last few days and it has been horrible, I have trouble falling asleep because of my stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing, and I usually wake up several times in the night and need to blow my nose before I can go back to sleep.

But when I woke up this morning, (my sister and I share a room) my sister complained about me moaning at one in the morning, and I kept her up.
I told her that I wasn't even awake at one in the morning.
She said yes, but I still kept her up, and she supposedly had only 3 hours of sleep

So, if you think about it, she basically said,

"You being alive kept me up at night and caused me to have only 3 hours of sleep"

But not too long ago, she was sick, and she was being loud in her sleep as well. Needless to say, I lost a few  hours of sleep, but I still fell asleep eventually.

But my sister, she was on her iPad that my dad let her use (he got it to test from work) and when I woke up several times in the night, she was on it under the blanket.

Now, that is the difference between these two things

I actually tried to go back to sleep, and she just gave up and watched Dancing with the Stars or something for the rest of the night/morning.

And she is complaining that I kept her up!

Sure, I might have been loud, but she could still fall asleep like I did!

And, to make her even more of a hippocrite, she snores very loudly after a few hours of being asleep.

The day has barely started and here I am, ranting on my blog.

A lot of my stress, depression and suicidal thoughts come from my family, because it just seems like they don't care at all.

My friends say that they probably do love me but aren't sure how to show it, but I still think that if anything, I'm the least favorite child. To me, it's either my older brother (17) or my little sister(11) on top, then the other underneath, and then I'm on the bottom.

But what keeps me going really is the fact that my fandoms are a big part of my life, and sometimes, they are the only reason that I'm still alive, and I didn't decide to kill myself.

My close friends are also there for me.

They listen and provide comfort that I need.

And of course I do the same for them.


-C